Sophia Money-Coutts

Back to stuff No sagging to see here. 5:48pm Thursday 7th April 2016

A thing about shopping for jeans

Things I hate:

i) Umbrellas.

ii) People who ask for ‘read receipts’.

iii) That sad feeling you get when you finish lunch.

iv) Jeans shopping.

Shopping for jeans is my worst. I have lost count of the number of times I have walked into a shop and piled my arms so high with various jeans that I look like some kind of washerwoman, then, in the changing room, nearly died of actual rage when not one of those pairs fits. Has your bottom ever looked bigger? Why are your legs suddenly shaped like South America? And FGS you can’t even get this pair over your knees.

And then you have to fold them all again and take them back outside and apologise guiltily to the shop assistant for ensuring the next three hours of her day are going to be spent re-folding everything because you couldn’t be bothered to do it properly.

Also, can we have a word about the moves you have to pull in changing rooms to get some of these jeans on? Moves that would get you arrested were you to do them in public, moves that jolly nearly dislocate not one but two hips. Moves that make you incredibly hot and bothered so that peeling off these jeans again is even more difficult because you’ve started sweating so heavily and JESUS CHRIST now there’s indigo all over your legs.

I hate it, basically. But I have found a *bit* of a solution and it will only mean you have to forgo basic essentials like food and water for a month or so. They are Citizens of Humanity jeans. The Carlie ones. Lovely, soft, high-rise jeans from America which slide on and off again and have the perfect amount of stretch versus tautness so they don’t immediately sag in the arse area. They are the dream and I am never going to wear anything else EVER AGAIN.

I don’t really want to tell you how much they cost because you will immediately assume I am one of those people who hides all their money in Panama. But think about it like this: how much money would you spend NOT to suffer the indignity of jean shopping ever again? See. Quite a lot. Find some of them HERE and then you can always do this useful trick which a friend of mine taught me recently. Go to a shop and try on said jeans, then keep an eye on the Outnet for when they come up with a whooping big discount. Jean-ius. Lol.

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