I’m in the Lake District for the weekend and, more specifically, at the World Marmalade Awards just outside Penrith. There are approximately a million things to say about their general magnificence but I have to save them all for an issue of Tatler coming to you SOON. So you’ll have to make do with these pictures for the time being.

Also, RE the difference between jam and marmalade: it’s a FILTHY joke unrepeatable here (‘You can’t marmalade your…’) so you’ll have to google it. Sorry.