What-ho! First week of freelance life done. I have averaged two baths a day, six or seven hours in the coffee shops of West London and, also, I had lunch in a restaurant in Islington on Tuesday where Kathy Burke and Judge Rinder were also lunching. Not together. Judge Rinder’s dog nearly bit my friend Bellsy’s finger off when she bent down to pat it.

So, there’s been much excitement. I’ve promised my nice editor at Harper Collins that I will send my book back to her (THE PLUS ONE IT’S OUT IN JUNE ETC ETC ETC), all edits done, by Friday. And then I have a very exciting freelance piece to write next week. Although it involves a photoshoot which am q nervous about because I generally hate all photos of me. ‘Who is that poor old bag who looks like she needs to sleep for 100 years? Oh right. Good. It’s me.’

Talking of which, HERE is this week’s column. Plot spoiler: it’s about advent calendars.