Apart from threesomes, I also wrote a piece about heirless toffs for Tatler’s January issue. It features a chap called Sir Benjamin Slade, who owns 2,00 acres of Somerset but has no-one to pass it on to. He is a character, is Sir Benjamin, and he’s taken the practical step of freezing his sperm. ‘I did it several years ago,’ he told me. ‘It’s in the only bank that didn’t go bust in the recession! Ha ha!’

Anyway, I’m not going to paste my article here because you can still buy the issue on the newsstands, you idle toads. But if you like the sound of Sir Benjamin and you’re on the hunt for a husband who’s got a title and fairly extraordinary views about women, then you can read his tips HERE. The below is just a sneak preview.