Went to Radio 4 this morning to talk about poor old Boris being ‘forced to share’ Chevening, the foreign secretary’s grace and favour pad in Kent. Theresa May announced yesterday that he’d be sharing the house with fellow Brexiteers Liam Fox and David Davis.

Thing is, this house is vast – 112 rooms and 3,000 acres so they’re hardly going to be slumming it. Anyway, you can here me wittering on HERE at about 2:56.

Quite fortunate that you can hear me at all, because I got to the BBC an hour early this morning and was desperate to pee but didn’t dare leave the Green Room in case I was suddenly called up. Except then it got too painful, so – with classic timing – asked a runner if I could nip to the bathroom minutes before going into the studio.

‘You’ve just got time,’ he said, looking at his watch. ‘It’s down the corridor.’

So off I went, down a long corridor, through a door you had to press a button to get through and into a disabled loo. Then I came out and found the door was locked and I needed a pass to get back through it. But I didn’t have a pass and I was in the studio in 30 seconds or so. PANIC, I AM DUE ON AIR ANY MINUTE NOW BUT TRAPPED IN A BBC STAIRWELL LIKE SOME KIND OF HOSTAGE THIS WOULD ONLY HAPPEN TO ME. I knocked and knocked and knocked so hard that my knuckles turned bright red.

And then, phew, a nice man came to my rescue and I nipped into the studio with seconds to spare. So honour was *just* about upheld but the moral of the story is probably don’t drink 372 cups of coffee before a radio interview.