Me: Hi, I want to hang pictures in my flat but I’ve ordered some picture hooks online and I think there’s something wrong with them.
Nice man in hardware shop: Oh? How come?
Me: Well, the hooks are on the wrong side. Look. [Shows the nice man the packet.] If I banged these in, the hook would be facing the wall.
Nice man [talking slower, as if he’s addressing someone from an asylum]: That’s because you don’t bang them in that way, you put the flat side against the wall and bang the pins in that way.
Nice man: But if that’s too complicated, do you want to use sticky picture hooks instead?
Me: [runs from shop]