HELLO friends. Welcome to my website, a site which I treat like a diary. Sometimes I go through a productive, enthusiastic spell of writing posts, wittering on about bins and marmalade and my quest to get arms like Meghan Markle. But then I might fall idle for weeks and only post the odd, sporadic Instagram picture of a dog wearing an amusing hat. I always want to be better at posting, more efficient, but it’s like being on a diet. You can be very well-behaved for a bit and then, whoops, how weird, where did all those chocolate fingers go?
Because I’m quite British, I used to think it was extremely narcissistic and vain to have our own website. But when I mentioned this to a friend, she got cross with me. ‘Get an actual grip, this is the 21st century,’ she wrote in an email, ‘What are you? 900 years old?’
I am not 900 years old. I am 33. And I’ve wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. I found some early signs of writing prowess the other day while clearing out my flat. Look:
From these promising beginnings, I landed my first job in journalism, in 2007, on the Evening Standard’s features desk where I wrote about things like the maple syrup diet, taking the study drug Ritalin, doing four hours of cardio a day to exercise like Madonna for a week and accidentally travelling to Amsterdam on my brother’s passport.
Then, looking for an adventure and a break from London, I went to work for a new newspaper in Abu Dhabi (near Dubai, for the geographically-challenged among us) called The National. I lived in the Gulf for two years, writing about its growing art, film and fashion scene, about nearly throwing up over myself after flying in a Red Bull plane and I interviewed a Backstreet boy on the phone while sitting naked on my bed (I think it was Brian), because I had to fit him in between my shower and going out for supper.
Then, back home to London to work for the Daily Mail’s features desk. I wasn’t a writer there, I was an editor. During the two years I worked for the paper, my favourite headlines were: ‘Is your shampoo making you fat?’ and ‘THE DOWNSIDE TO BEATING CANCER.’ I promise you, both genuine headlines.
Next, I went to work as Features Director at Tatler for five years, where I wrote pieces with headlines like ‘Would you send your son to a prostitute?’ and ‘Threesomes – are they as much fun as they sound?’
And now I’m sitting writing this in my favourite coffee shop in West London, just round the corner from my flat, because in 2017 I became a freelance writer and author. Click HERE to read more about my debut novel, The Plus One. I also write a weekly column for The Sunday Telegraph called Modern Manners in which I ask big questions like ‘How posh are your wellington boots?’ and ‘Should Kate Middleton really be wearing tracksuit bottoms?’
To commission me or to chat about, well, anything really, just drop me a line on [email protected].