Gosh you’re looking good. Have you lost weight? And your hair! So thick and shiny! What do you wash it with? You must tell me your secret. Now listen, would you mind awfully pre-ordering my new book*? It would be jolly kind of you and I’d be enormously grateful. And really you do look terrific at the moment. Ten years younger at least. Such youthful skin!
*What Happens Now? is out in JUST OVER A MONTH which means I will be running at peak neurosis for the next four and a bit weeks. HERE is link where you can pre-order so it lands the very day it comes out. Mum’s puppy Beano refused to even open it, but I’m hoping he’s not representative of the wider reading public.