I’m back in London after an eventful trip from Harbour Island via Miami, during which we were held up on the runway as Obama jetted in from Washington DC for a day trip to the Everglades.

Police everywhere, gigantic chinooks on the runway and every single other plane on Miami tarmac ordered to ‘FREEZE’. The Americans take this stuff seriously.

‘MA’AM SIT DOWN PLEASE MA’AM,’ shouted the air hostess at me as I reached for my book in the locker above me. I really needed a wee but apparently there was to be NO WEEING in the vicinity of Air Force One.

‘Hell, I don’t know what all the fuss is about,’ the air hostess added over the intercom as we scrabbled to take pictures of the socking great big plane. ‘He’s not that good of [sic] a president anyway.’

All the Americans on board were presumably rich Republicans returning from their own spell in the Bahamas, because they laughed as if this was the best joke they’d ever heard.