Why I was never going to be much of a ballet dancer…

So I went to see Don Quixote (the ballet, catch up) at the Royal Opera House tonight which I very much enjoyed for various reasons:

1. The dancing. I only ever did tap dancing (as opposed to ballet) when I was a child because I was fat. I wasn’t even allowed to do my Kitty Kat gym award Level 1 becuase it was deemed too challenging. And do you know all you had to do to get a Kitty Kat Level 1 badge? A roly poly. Anyway, instead of gym and ballet, I had to do tap dancing – but I gave that up fairly swiftly because our teacher used to tap up and down while her curly wig flopped all over the place and I found this unnerving. Point being, I find athletic ballet dancers deeply impressive and watch them a little wistfully.

2. I also liked the fact that Don Quixote – a sort of haphazard Robin Hood – looked a bit like Billy Connolly.

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Female dancer and Billy Connolly (right)

3. I was further amused by the fact that Billy Connolly spends the entire show lusting after a character called Dulcinea (see ghostly figure above), who he believes is the most beautiful woman of all time. I liked this because it reminded me of Dulcie, my late great aunt who was a marvellous wartime character. She lived beside the sea in Berwick-upon-Tweed and, every day, would salt a pan of water and boil an egg for her breakfast. Egg cooked, she would pour the salty water into a thermos and use the hot water for cups of tea that day. ‘Don’t whatever you do say yes to a cup of tea,’ my mother would hiss when we went to see her as children. Unlike Dulcinea, Great Aunt Dulcie probably wasn’t the most beautiful woman of all time, but she was a good sort.