Six months later…

Hi! How we doing? I have literally no excuse for being so feeble on here, apart from work, and life, and being away a bit, and sheer bloody idleness and…no, no I think that’s about it. In the meantime, I’ve written a few bits and bobs for the Times, about rugby which upset a few people, and about going to the world’s most revered health spa and discovering a cake shop (??????!) at the end of the drive, and about the posh new members’ club where you can buy a horse or a top hat, if you need one or both of those things.

I’ve written various Telegraph columns, which you can read HERE. And I’m doing cars again too, for thr Telegraph this time. And I say again because I used to write about cars for Tatler in a column that we called Toff Gear, a joke which made us laugh for an improbable length of time in the Vogue House office.

I finished my next rom com, which is coming out next summer. I started an exciting new book project which will probably only take 20 or so years to finish. The film script for my first novel, The Plus One, has also just landed, which is immensely exciting. Blimey, it’s is all a bit me, me, me, isn’t it? But you are on my website. And I’m keeping my head down and working to try and push away the doom and gloom elsewhere because the world feels like it’s drowning in doom and gloom at the moment.

Although here’s a jolly little story which might make you smile. I’m writing this having just come from a cancer hospital in London where I do a weekly shift in the cafe, making sandwiches and coffee for day patients. And today the coffee machine wasn’t working properly. It’s never working properly. It would be quicker to run to Colombia and fetch the beans myself, some days. And today was no different. A nice if slightly weary looking lady pitched up and asked for two coffees and a piece of cake since her husband was having treatment downstairs, so I popped a capsule in and pressed the relevant buttons and a very slow, very thin trickle of coffee started dribbling out. ‘I’m so sorry, it’s being particularly slow and dribbly today,’ I told her.

She looked at me, this poor weary woman, and smiled. ‘If it’s very slow and dribbly, it could be prostate,’ she said, which made me bark with laughter and my colleague Jen suggest that we send the coffee machine downstairs to be checked by one of the doctors.

I’ve almost certainly written before about trying to find the humour at black moments. It’s not very easy to do, but so admirable if you can. Off she went, the lady with her coffees and her cake, back downstairs to her poor husband having treatment and I thought, ‘Yup, she’s got the right idea about life.’

Here endeth today’s lesson. See ya back here hopefully within a few weeks, rather than a few months.

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