Today’s Sunday Telegraph column

Morning. HERE it is. I am a bit ashamed about the Phuket chapter, but not that ashamed as otherwise we would have missed our flight.

Curiously, it seems to be a theme that I pretend to be knocked up when travelling in Thailand because the only other time I’ve done this was in Bangkok airport to get an upgrade. It worked and Thai Airways booted me forward into business class for a flight to Sydney. Jolly nice of them given I was on my gap year and wearing Thai fisherman trousers.