So to Goodwood yesterday, which was a BLOODY LAUGH. Or Qatar Goodwood, as we must now call it after a whopping multimillion pound, 10-year deal has been signed between the various parties. It’s the biggest deal ever done in British racing, supposedly. Someone told me how many millions it was yesterday and I shouldn’t probably tell you but it’s…a LOT of millions. It’s also significant because sponsorship of Royal Ascot’s been bagged by their cousins, also from the Al-Thani family, after the Queen allowed them to become the first ever commercial partner. They like horses, these Qataris.

I drove down to Sussex with two Tatler colleagues and had an informative chat about dogging on the way, but then we arrived and did exactly what my mother HATES people doing. Namely, larking about and not paying enough attention to the racing. But then Mum gave me a tip for the sixth race, which was exciting, and it romped in 8th place. So Tibbs, Tatler’s social editor, and I went back to taking pictures of ourselves and showing off.