Dietary requirements: a reply

A friend of a friend has been asked to RSVP to a wedding about his food allergies. He replied with the following:

I tried dog meat once in Vietnam but it wasn’t great. Pickled mushrooms are a surprise hit. Anything from the Beefeater Room Service menu at Tring Premier Inn would be super. I’m not too sure I understand the point of angelica. Marzipan doesn’t hold much appeal. I positively ADORE the sandwiches they serve on Swiss Air from Geneva to London City. Pinot Noir from Oregon, always, but it can be rather pricey so don’t go overboard. Crushed ice seems to make drinks taste better, I find. I recall a fantastic dish of Oxtail ravioli with scallop, beef bone consomme and black truffle at Per Se in New York a few years back. I was definitely not allergic to that. At Christmas, the Polish traditionally eat carp – worth thinking about to make me feel extra welcome. My cherished, perfect Nonna used to make the most amazing lemon sponge cake. She’s now dead and there’s no recipe but it would be really thoughtful if you served that instead of a wedding cake. Probably best to toast to her at that point, thinking about it. I’ll prepare some words. I was very disappointed by the cheese board served on Virgin Trains from Edinburgh to London, I have to say – I asked to be upgraded to First Class but apparently I was already in First Class. A moment of awkward silence passed. I once found myself through a wrong-turn after check-in at Mumbai airport in the workers’ cafe and took the opportunity to have a spot of lunch there. I can’t tell you what it was but it gave me a terribly dicky tummy, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t make me eat that again. On the other hand the vegetable curry on the domestic Kingfisher flight to New Delhi (not that new, as it turns out) was rather memorable. I think the most interesting food I ever had at a wedding was last year in Taiwan, where the rare delicacy of poached abalone was shaped into beautiful water flowers and paired with Gimlets. Just a suggestion… Luckily, I am once again a fan of caviar following a few years of stalemate after eating too much of it at a Christmas drinks party at my Auntie Margrit’s chalet in Switzerland. It sounds fancy, but the chalet is actually 20 minutes outside of Gstaad, rather than in Gstaad itself. I’m kidding, of course it’s fancy. I tend to get nervous around pizza in social settings, but worth to note that I much favour the French tartiflette over the heavier American cousin. Now, you say there will be no fish but may I bring to your attention that both Dover Sole and Turbot come into season in July, and how nice it would be to celebrate with a clean conscience. As for bread, the Onion & Bacon Brioche rolls served (warm) at The Ledbury are doubtlessly the best in the UK. I’ve done a lot of field research around this topic, so no need for you to have to do any leg-work yourselves. No need for thanks, it’s all part of getting stuck in. I like jam.