I was working for the Mail during the 2012 Olympics which meant that I mostly watched the proceedings from a TV in the newsroom and never actually went to the Olympic village. Nor did I have tickets for Super Saturday when Britain won all the gold medals in one day blah blah.

Howevs, I do remember nearly having to hospitalise myself from laughing slash crying during the opening ceremony. Do you remember how MAD but completely brilliant Danny Boyle’s show was? Maypole dancers, abseiling Mary Poppins, dancing NHS nurses, Muhammad Ali, Tim Berners-Lee (when everyone was a bit like ‘Tim Berners-Who?’) and the bloody QUEEN and Daniel Craig for God’s sake.

Anyway ahead of tonight’s opening ceremony in Rio (when Gisele may or may not be be ‘fake mugged’ in a nod to the country’s reputation for, erm, ‘lawlessness’), I thought THIS recap would get everyone in the mood.

Happy Olympics, y’all. EXCITING.